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K-JOY

Articles Posted: 30  Links Seeded: 130
Member Since: 9/2009  Last Seen: 4/13/2012

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Chew 'n Chat

Mon Nov 1, 2010 11:11 AM EDT
us-news, obesity, homosexuality, apology, opinions, clint-mccance, maura-kelly
By K-joy
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In recent news there has been many articles written about supporting homosexuals. With the recent suicides reported of young people that were being bullied, it has been a hot button. Due to the tragic nature of the events most people were quick to respond with kindness and show support of the LGBT community. Then there was the report of a school board member from Pleasant Plains, Arkansas. Clint McCance used his facebook account to spout his opinion on the matter. He was of the opinion that he does not feel the need to support homosexuals in any way. He was adamant enough to state that he would disown his own children if they were to be gay. He has since resigned from his position due to the backlash.

Another rather interesting article seeded by Loretta Kemsley was about a writer for the women's magazine Marie Claire. Maura Kelly, a writer who has suffered with an eating disorder, went on to say that she is grossed out by obese people. She also went on to talk about a new television series Mike & Molly where the two main characters meet and fall in love at an over eaters meeting. There was outrage over her article because it hurt people's feelings. It was viewed as being shallow and heartless. The writer had to respond with a forced apology and an excuse for her opinion.

These two articles really stuck with me all weekend. Why do heterosexuals have to support homosexuals? In that same vein; why do we want anorexics to support the obese? I am using these two articles for examples, but you could supplement any stance: pro-life vs. pro-choice, republicans vs. democrats or even vegetarians vs. meat eaters. Why do we expect homogenized ideas from the masses? When someone is of a different opinion, why as a community are we forcing apologies because some of us may not like what is said.

Those type of recanted statements are not worth the time it took to hear or read them. Their opinion did not change. They heard the outcry of people not approving of their stance. No one wants to suffer the injustice of being the odd man out, so they lie and say they are sorry. They publicly reprimand themselves looking for approval, even if they only spite themselves. That seems to smooth out the rough edges.

Let's say that we are grossed out by fat people or homosexuality because it is an unhealthy lifestyle. Being unhealthy is not the reason anyone is disgusted. No one cares what it is unhealthy for someone else. The only thing that people care about is that they have to face it and see it and they simply don't want to. Just like a person doesn't have to eat something they don't like, these people have the right to edit what they see. We force people to swallow what they don't like. Don't they have a right to spit out whatever they don't want?

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  • Public Discussion (21)
K-joy

I am sick of forced apologies we expect from people. I want my own opinion, not the opinion you tell me I should have. I don't expect to hear, "I'm sorry" if we disagree...I think we should all respectfully agree to disagree.

  • 4 votes
Reply#1 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 11:14 AM EDT
Writersview

I like you honesty K-joy. Indeed, in this article, you are showing to the people, yourself. You're just being true to yourself.

I appreciate one who can stand to her opinion. That's part of a healthy conversation, even with disagreements. Keep it up.

  • 4 votes
#1.1 - Tue Nov 2, 2010 11:50 PM EDT
Reply
K-joy

Note: The seeded article I mentioned, in case you have 2 pennies to add.

http://an-uncommon-scold.newsvine.com/_news/2010/10/27/5360470-what-was-marie-claire-thinking-with-this-fatties-piece

  • 2 votes
Reply#2 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 11:37 AM EDT
etva

I agree that a forced apology defeats the purpose. LOL I think part of the problem is that the Internet makes it so easy to say whatever is on our minds, and we don't always think about how it might offend others. I try to follow the rule, that if I wouldn't say it someone's face, then it's probably not a good idea to type it:)

  • 4 votes
Reply#3 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 11:45 AM EDT
K-joy

I support saying what we really feel. The truth isn't always pretty, but it is true. I don't like the idea of people saying what they think people want to hear then turn around, and in confidence, say the complete opposite. It defeats the purpose of even talking to one another.

*Of course if your only purpose is to hurt others, then push your mute button.

  • 2 votes
#3.1 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 11:49 AM EDT
etva

Oh, I agree we need to the speak truth and it isn't always pretty, but speaking the truth, IMO, doesn't always mean I have to share my opinion. I think it depends on who I'm sharing it with and what the setting is.

I'm sure everyone has opinions about homosexuality and obesity, but to what point do I need to broadcast it openly on FB? Opinions are great, but I prefer to see them presented in a forum where they might have a useful impact in finding a solution problems, rather than fostering divisiveness.

I tend to be rather direct and well, honest in my opinions - LOL, so I try to remember to keep my finger on the mute button:)

BTW, I didn't see any of the examples you mentioned (I'll check out Loretta's piece when I have more time) so I'm not commenting on them specifically, but giving my general opinion - LOL - and it seems to me that NV is intended for the discussion of opinions:)

  • 4 votes
#3.2 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 12:01 PM EDT
K-joy

I think that is where I was headed with this rant o' mine. Why do we have to keep our opinions, especially the unpopular ones, private or in select company? Now, don't get me wrong I don't think it is a good idea to just offer an opinion when it is not asked for...because that is just annoying. I think that more good is done when we can accept differences and with an open mind we can understand more of the world around us.

As for Clint McCance there were a lot of articles seeded about him, you can do a search and I am sure you could get the whole story, quotes and all.

  • 2 votes
#3.3 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 12:13 PM EDT
etva

I don't think we have to keep our opinions to ourselves, but I guess I don't see the purpose in batting opinions back and forth with people who aren't going to change their minds. I'm happy to share my opinions when there's good discussions, and frankly, Loretta generally has great discussions, IMO. FB -- I don't see much in the way of discussion, but then, I'm not a bit soundbite/twitter person either - LOL.

I think there are many issues where people just have to agree to disagree. Some people will always be offended by something, often because of they way they are raised. Just stating an opinion about what offends you doesn't serve much purpose, IMO. On the other hand saying that you believe everyone has a right to their opinion, or discussing censorship, that to me is using opinions for a purpose.

Does that make sense? LOL -- maybe it's just me:)

  • 3 votes
#3.4 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 12:28 PM EDT
K-joy

Makes perfect sense to me :) There have been times that I thought perhaps I am insensitive or my skin is a little tougher than any gal should want it to be because I don't always understand why people get so upset.

As for facebook being a place to discuss great ideas, I would say it isn't the right forum. I do updates about what I am eating, send happy birthday wishes, and odds and ends. I have tried a few times to talk about the news and I can tell you that my peanut chews got more thumbs up. But...peanut chews are darn tasty.

  • 2 votes
#3.5 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 12:39 PM EDT
etva

LOL -- I only use FB for maintaining an easy connection with distant family and friends.

I try to stay out of the rough and tumble political debates on NV -- I must be a sensitive soul - LOL:)

  • 2 votes
#3.6 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 12:43 PM EDT
Reply
Tip4ya

In the 2 cases you mentioned in your article above, I don't think it's a matter of support or acceptance, as much as a matter of not attacking someone because you don't agree with their lifestyles or opinions.

It's one thing to have an opinion and voice it, but it's another to attack and hurt someone, physically or mentally. I voice my opinion all the time, but I'm not mean about it. For example, if a gay person approached me, and tried to ask me out, I would simply say no, I don't agree with your lifestyle, or no, I'm not gay. I would be cordial about it, and wouldn't shout slurs, or threaten them. I wouldn't apoligize for having the feelings I have, or for stating my opinion, if that's how I truly feel, and I don't think anyone should. On the other hand, I don't think a gay person, or an overwight person should have to apologize, or live in fear of attack, for their lifestyle.

I think our Country has become too politically correct. Or, we've got a lot of super sensitive people that need to lighten up!

  • 3 votes
Reply#4 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 3:01 PM EDT
K-joy

I am pretty sure that no mater how a person would say they are not supporting homosexuality or gay rights it would be considered attacking them. Don't get me wrong, I detest nastiness. I really don't see a point in belittling anyone just to get my opinion out there. I don't really care who a person sleeps with or what they eat (pun not intended, but funny) but I do not like the idea of silencing someone that does care about it.

I agree. I think being PC is pretty bland.

  • 1 vote
#4.1 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 3:24 PM EDT
Tip4ya

I understand what you mean by most would consider a calm talk an attack, but I was being literal in my comment, meaning screaming and yelling profanities, kicking, punching, etc.

  • 1 vote
#4.2 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 4:26 PM EDT
K-joy

Those are the type of people that need to have a mute button inserted or at the very least some type of volume control installed. When a spirited talk turns into a fight that is uncalled for, people are strange creatures.

  • 1 vote
#4.3 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 4:33 PM EDT
Reply
Starlite-2115221

Interesting article and no, I don't feel people should be forced to apologize when they don't feel like they should. On the other hand, I don't think we should always say exactly what we think or feel..Wouldn't it be better to consider other people's feelings before we open our mouths??

  • 2 votes
Reply#5 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 4:01 PM EDT
K-joy

I am not so sure Starlite, if in considering other people's feelings aren't we just suppressing our own? I do have some respect for the person that isn't afraid to speak their mind, even if I don't agree.

  • 2 votes
#5.1 - Mon Nov 1, 2010 4:11 PM EDT
Reply
Kearney Outlaw

K-Joy,

This is a wonderful article and I'm sorry I missed it when you first introduced it.

I am heterosexual and don't particularly feel compelled to support homosexuality. I don't try to relate, and I don't think I need to defend homosexuality any more than I should defend women in issues regarding women's rights or equality. To do so seems condescending and disingenuous.

Having said that (and perhaps the reason I chose to comment on your article), a very good friend of mine put the issue in my lap (so to speak) just yesterday. He and I have been friends since high school (30 years) and though he has been married twice and has a teenaged son, he has always struggled with his sexuality. I say "struggled" because he has always embraced his homosexuality, while trying to, simultaneously make his heterosexual marriage work.

Yesterday, he told me he came out to his son. His wife, who has known, was still taken by surprise when he told her he wanted a divorce. This is his decision and while I don't fully condone the splitting of his relationship and family, it is who he is.

By supporting my friend's decision, am I "defending" homosexuality? I suppose it is. So sometimes the defense is not in the form of activism in a community, but rather, placing your loyalty to those you love above some lofty principle. This has yet to play out, and he, his wife, and son are like family to my wife and me. But I refuse to condemn his actions--at least from a moral standpoint that holds his sexuality to blame.

  • 1 vote
Reply#6 - Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:29 PM EDT
K-joy

Over the weekend, I watched a movie: I love you, Phillip Morris. It was not about smoking cigarettes. In this flick Jim Carey is the main character. Turns out that even though he had a wife and daughter, it wasn't until he was in a terrible accident that he decided to be true to himself and come out as a gay man.

I am sure this happens, just like with your friend. I would find it difficult to be supportive. He may have been lying to himself but he also lied to a lot of other people. I find that a hard pill to swallow. But like you, I would be hard pressed to turn my back on a good friend. I guess the point here is that our opinions will not always be popular or even matter all that much. We are simply entitled to them.

I hope that your friend finds peace in his honesty and that with some time his family can come to understand him better.

  • 1 vote
#6.1 - Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:50 AM EDT
Reply
US Citizen-658112

Hello K-joy! Another interesting thread....nice insight to delve into this issue....

This point first: Is there really an "average opinion" person out there...?.... I think NOT! We are all unique, go through life in different ways, and end up with differing viewpoints for all sorts of reasons. The "average opinion"..while useful...IS a statistical measure, meant to characterize the "masses" and NOT necessarily even attempt to predict individuals at all.

If the people at both "extremes" are pushing everyone towards an imaginary "middle", then in fact, we are trying to get rid of individuality, while at the same time the marketing industry is stressing our "individuality". It's clearly a hypocritical position to try to force anyone to agree with oneself in a world like this. (This for private personal affairs, NOT on employers time...).

There's reason why the ice cream shop has so many flavors...as we tend to like variety, and don't like the same things.

If someone likes red, and someone else blue, why not? Like what you like, let the others like what they like, and the world is what it is, and a more interesting place to live in.

If someone wants to really campaign for a particular cause, be it sexual identity, abortion, etc., then do it for the "masses" and do NOT attack individuals who have other points of view.

An insincere apology is pretty easy to detect once a person is experienced, and does more to damage a persons credibility than just agreeing that there are two different points of view, and holding onto your own, and letting the other person do the same.

I hope you are doing well, friend, and that this article does well too, as it's a good one, and deserving of discourse.

  • 1 vote
Reply#7 - Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:49 AM EDT
K-joy

*It was written awhile back, it must have been lost in the shuffle.

I am glad that opposing points of view are expressed. It is worthwhile to explore ideas and attempt to understand why people feel so strongly about any given topic.

  • 1 vote
#7.1 - Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:22 PM EDT
Reply
Writersview

I am glad that opposing points of view are expressed. It is worthwhile to explore ideas and attempt to understand why people feel so strongly about any given topic.

Correct. It is where new ideas crop up. Most of the times those ideas which we feel unimportant, but if given second thought, one will realize that there is sense in it.

  • 1 vote
Reply#8 - Tue Aug 9, 2011 11:32 PM EDT
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